Monday, September 26, 2005

Searching For Purpose

It's been 6 days since my last blogfession....

I find it strange how Christians are forever searching for our "purpose in life". As if it were not enough to find Jesus, we are constantly struggling for fulfillment. Why are books like "The Purpose Driven Life" (with daily planner and journal), "Wild at Heart" and "Your Best Life Now" in the top ten Christian bestsellers list? I am not discounting the valuable material in these books, just questioning why the title itself attracts readers. It's as if we are expecting our "purpose" to be concrete, and awaiting our discovery where all will be revealed.
On hindsight, when "The Purpose Driven Life" was published, I was filled with a sense of excitement and relief, as if it was finally going to give me a clue as to what I was here to do. Instead it left me with more questions.

Of course God uses certain people to do certain things, the evidence is in the Bible with ordinary (and mostly unprepared) people like Moses, Esther, and Paul to name a few. However, I think that so often we become preoccupied with searching for our specific purpose, that we ignore the journey God has us on and what we can achieve by day-to-day living. I can only speak for myself when I say that often I felt guilty for "wasting" time when I should have been discovering what God's specific "plan" for me is, and worrying that maybe I'll get it wrong. It's like that feeling you get when you get told you have "unused" potential that should be channeled, yet you don't know how to go about that.

There is no way we can understand God's plan for our lives, only on hindsight can we look back and recognize where God was at certain times. Rather than "search" for our purpose, maybe we should just be led. I remember being told in my 5th form careers class that 75% of us will end up in jobs that haven't even be created yet. Maybe it's the same with God's plan. There's no way of knowing who we will meet or impact in the future, so stress less about if you're doing the right thing to get there.

In saying that, I do believe God puts the desires in your heart, and a person with a passion for youth or overseas aid will probably be used by God in these areas. I guess what I'm saying is maybe we should stop searching and hoping we're getting it right, and just start living.

Someone once told me that instead of praying for the right doors to open, pray for the wrong doors to close. Therefore you can try everything. Was this what Jesus meant when he told us to "live life to its fullest"?

I am excited at the position God has me in at the moment, and curious as to know where I will end up.
Although, if I do have a concrete "purpose in life", I hope it's to be a rock star :)

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

The Moral of the Story

I had the flu this weekend. Can't remember too much of Saturday & Sunday as I slept most of it. Then Monday drove to uni to hand in an assignment and officially slacked off the rest of the day recovering. Today was more of a revitalize day, getting energy back and psyching myself up to get back into the busy-ness that is my life (whilst in the company of my fantabulous fiance who brought me coffee over in the morning).

As much as I hate being sick (and try my best not to take my grumpiness out on the people around me) it did have a silver lining this time. I realized that the world still goes on without me stressing about every tiny detail, that certain things (mainly uni work) can actually wait, and it gave me time to "do nothing" which is definately food for the soul. Good times.

I can't wait til elections are over and I can stop analysing every detail of New Zealand's political atmosphere. Oh, and rumour has it that Winston Peters went fishing the day after the election instead of working out coalition agreements. Possibly searching for underwater terrorist communities?

Back at uni tomorrow, I hope it doesn't rain.

Monday, September 19, 2005

Finally Arrived

Yes I have arrived in blog-world, I can feel the geekness start to seep in.... just kidding! Hopefully I can find some interesting things to say in the coming days, weeks or months, mostly this blog will just be an outlet for my thoughts however profound or mundane.
This is an amazing feat for someone as anti-technically minded as myself, I have trouble even working the DVD, what was so bad about video's anyway? So bear with me, here's a bit about myself:
I was born in Essex, England and moved to NZ when I was 2. So I call myself a "kiwi", a "Pakeha" a "NZ-European" or whatever the politically correct term may be. Since then I have lived in Howick, and can still remember the days when "Meadowlands" was actually that. But let's not be nostalgic, where would I be without Botany Town Centre catering to my every need and want, offering caramel lattee's just $4 away.......

I am six weeks away from finishing a 3 year Bachelor of Arts, majoring in English and Sociology. Not completely out of student mode however, as next year I will doing a post-grad in teaching. Can't wait to finish and finally be out doing what I've waited this long for, although I must admit being a student has it's upside - Munchie Mart, listening to music on the bus, surviving on coffee and V, and meeting so many different people.

As most of you know, Rhett and I are getting married in January, making these next four months the slowest ever! Wedding plans are fun/hectic/exciting/hard. What I'm most looking forward to is living in our own little house with our whole lives ahead of us together. And someone to make me breakfast in the mornings :)

We have been going to a church called "Cession" for about 3months now, and I can honestly say I feel completely at home there. What I like the most about it, is the emphasis on 'community', so you feel accepted from the minute you walk in, it's grounded, and "real-ness" permeates every facet - from the people to the worship to the cup of tea afterwards.

So that's a bit about me, but I'd better save some stuff for my next posts.....